it's a pronoun kind of town

one grammar lesson before my re-cap of the hometown dates.

there is a big difference between "i" and "me". they are both pronouns, but "i" is the subject and "me" is the object.

example: "i wish ashley and i had matching fingerless gloves for our hometown date in maine."

"me" is the object.

example: "i'm not sure if i can reconcile the distance between shawntel and me if she has to stay in chico."

the problem is that no one seems to like using "me". and when "i" is used as the object, it's a disaster. if you do this in front of me, i am probably judging you. the habit of using "i" is probably a reaction to hearing "me" used incorrectly by kids, backwoods or uneducated people. but really you sound like a pretentious clown when you use "i" incorrectly, it's no better than kissing cousins with close set eyes from the ozarks.

this has been a major problem for the whole cast of the bachelor. this episode, especially, because it was all one-on-one contact rather than group dates. pretty sure that they're not going to correct the habit in two weeks, and brad and ___ will probably teach form the pronoun subject/object error in their children at a very young age. eh.

chantal's date was no surprise. somehow i knew that her parents' house would be styled in some sort of venetian way. and i think we are now clear on where chantal's fashion sense comes from. today she looked like a flight attendant + stripper. mama o'brien is a hot mess. her matching lavender eye shadow, lipstick and coordinating vneck tee from chico's was a bit of a disaster. however, she is prettier than chantal. people including me have criticized brad for his lack of personality and expressiveness, but at least he's consistent. i thought he was great with her parents.

ashley's stock went way up after seeing her in maine. why was brad so nervous to eat french fries with cheese and gravy? was he afraid his 8 pack abs would turn into 7? i did love the self-pay box at the produce stand. i was never sure if ashley fabricated her hyper-happy personality, but the rest of her family is this way, save her brother, who seems like a fusion of eminem and the unabomber. i still don't think she will be in the final two, but i liked her better in this setting better than i have all season. did not love the hoodie sewn into the leather jacket that brad was wearing.

note to self: to attract men, do not take job as embalmer. brad's date with shawntel was rough. pulling up to the funeral home, pretty sure brad was crunching xanax and making emergency calls to jaime the therapist. what were those four hooks hanging from the ceiling in the embalming room? scary. and i'm pretty sure for a moment, brad though shawntel was going to flip and attack him with the scalpel or giant needle. and the way brad rationalizes "she deals with death all day but is so full of life"..brad is full of something else. the only other notable moment here was the announcement in front of mom and dad that dad may not be retiring, ever. he and his mustache may have to show up to work on dead people for the rest of his life.

high point of date with emily: when emily comforted brad at the end of the evening and they shared a lovely kiss in the doorway (i cried, totally. TOTALLY.). low point: "ricky tick". gross, what does that mean? it was a great day for them, for emily especially because of how her daughter reacted to a man. still, she's light years ahead of him in maturity and experience. i have started a home teeth bleaching system as a result of seeing emily's choppers (jse, for some reason, was very disturbed by the premise of me whitening my teeth). wow they're white!

shawntel's dress at the rose ceremony was brutal. maybe the worst she's worn so far. a sleeveless turtleneck dress with beaded shoulders. if anyone has an excuse for bad clothes, it's ashley, who grew up far removed from the rest of america. a girl from california has no excuses. and what of her "great sense of style" and all of the clothes she bought in las vegas?? still bitter about that.

shawntel's gone. off to south africa for the four love birds, am eager to see if chantal has laid off the burritos since anguilla.