Saturday, January 30, 2010

"will you be getting anything else in?"

i have been asked this question several times already this january. it is asked in reference to the merchandise in the store. but to be honest, i'm not sure what the aim of this question is.

first, if you notice the date of this blog entry, it is not even february. and the format of the question is asked so that the answer to this question is either "yes" or "no". what if i said no? it would mean that before it is even spring, i am already done receiving merchandise. that maybe i'm not going to get anything new in until the fall. it also means that even though every other store gets "new things in" every month of the year, that somehow i might be an anomaly. what if i said, "no, i thought we'd stop early this year. we'll get more merchandise in next january." it really is such an obtuse question. so i can't imagine that people are really asking to find out if after january, spring merchandise will come in. i don't even want to hear about how normal people don't know the ins and outs of retail. so why do people ask this?

a variation is "are you going to get any color in?" what? does the sign say "white house black market"? for six years i have had color in my store but, oh maybe this year i will only have black and white. it's so ridiculous i felt shocked when it came out of someone's mouth. another variation: "will you get more pants?" ?? "when do you start getting spring in?" well, spring.

the only pattern i see among people who ask these sorts of questions are that usually they don't buy anything so it's their way of saying "well i WOULD have bought something but you didn't have anything i liked" or just some sort of pretense because they didn't have money to shop or whatever. or maybe they actually want to ask for something specific but are passive. all of these things are fine. you don't have to like what is in the store and you don't have to buy anything. and if you want something specific, you will have to tell me. but please don't say weird things like "will you be getting anything else in", it makes things awkward.

well i don't want to complain and not be helpful. if you would like a tip, maybe modify the question: "i'm looking for a ___ ( ie long cotton lawn dress), can you tell me when you might get something like that?" or at least ask toward the end of a season: "are you done getting in spring (ask in may)/summer (ask in august)/fall (nov)/winter (jan)?" i agree, clothes always deliver the month before the season starts (feb for spring, may for summer, july for fall, nov for holiday). and resort and cruise wear throws people for a loop.

the nature of this question actually falls in line with a greater annoyance, the general question.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

the left coast

in LA this weekend, k and i ate at huckleberry (had a grilled gruyere cheese sandwich with a beet salad and balsamic kale w/pine nuts. then a to-die-for bread pudding) and saw two of the most beautiful and successful models working today...

amber valletta

kirsty hume

man i felt like a hobbit after seeing them. so i ate the rest of the bread pudding.

Friday, January 22, 2010

365 days of summer

i believe the wearing and enjoyment of flip flops should be (highly) self-regulated. i can't believe i'm writing about this in the middle of january, but in the last 24 hours, i've been offended four times by folks who obviously do not have decency or modesty. i absolutely disagree that you can wear "whatever" with flip flops or that flip flops are so "easy" and universal. i really think maybe 1-3% of the population can wear them successfully, and yet that percentage is actually of people who do not wear them. oh there are so many problems. so sad.

anyway, here is my personal checklist (enforced on myself, measured and judged on others) as to the permissibility of wearing said sandals.

yes
there is a nice arch to the foot, neither high or low.
the width and thickness of the foot is medium.
the wearer has good but not great posture
the outfit is not athletic or dressy or lounge-y casual, preferably with a surfer or outdoors slant
season is summer
you are under 35
good proportion of ankle to calf girth
you are white or hispanic (other races are case by case)
have nicely proportioned nailbeds

no
an ashen hue on the bottom of your feet
overpronate
not summer time
you use hairspray or axe body spray
you have the feeling "this outfit would be better with xxx shoes, but..."
answered no to any of the "yes" reasons
there is more than 1/2 cm of excess sandal or the heel lines up or goes over the flip flop itself
corns and/or calluses
arachnid like toe/foot hair
weird feet (anything about your feet that would attract attention)
you look like you might be white collar. or blue collar (indicated by things like hair part, tailored clothing, jewelry).

in addition, new and pristine flip flops look ridiculous and contrived, old and nasty flip flops make you look poor and slovenly.

it's a fine line, people. you can cross it, but preferably not in front of me. if in front of me, i am probably judging you.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

if you're not a fan of prefontaine, you're not a fan of me.

you are welcomed to become a fan of prefontaine on facebook! it is a "page" so when you do the search, be sure to look under that category. if you add me as a "friend", i will unfortunately have to deny the request because i do feel skittish about that for some vain reason that i haven't thought enough about to quantify verbally. but if you keep up with my blog, you are probably my friend despite my odd social quirks. so fyi, thank you and cheers...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

i'm a visual learner

the bed in my room at the hudson this weekend, i am a little obsessed with it.

sermon on the mount saint helens

i think the first pastor who started his sermon by saying "if you look up the word XXX in the dictionary, it defines XXX as..." was really genius. merging the secular and religious, objectivity with experience, plainness with the esoteric. but it should have been left alone as an important moment in ecclesiastical oratory. but no, since people love beating things to death...

now, it's a sign of laziness (writer's block) or of vanity ("merriam webster defines XXX as..." is a show of intellectual superiority, "if we look at the cambridge dictionary of american english..." is some sort of implication that the pastor is worldly or believes in heritage. but really it was the first entry that popped up on google).

it has also morphed into starting with definitions of a greek/hebrew derivative word. also cool or at least tolerable the first few times, not amazing after that.

the whole deal starting with an obscure historical figure who actually did something amazing is a little tired too (or conversely, someone super famous who wasted his life away). my dad uses that one a lot. it's cute, he really gets into it, but usually he mispronounces the name. awesome.

another rough start is the spiritual video warmup. dimmed lights, epic music, flashing black and white shots of children in third world countries. wow, that one is hard on me.

some alternatives that i would like to hear:

"what up, porrrtlaaaaand! who's ready for a gooooood time?!"
"today i guess i'm glad to see you but to be honest, i would have rather gone to bedside baptist"
"i would like to welcome our guest speaker, perez hilton"

oh yeah. the worst possible start to a sermon: playing a u2 song.

Friday, January 15, 2010

don't know why i love you like i do

well, i think this is cute.the best pancakes i've ever had, at a place in canyon lake called "flap jack's". they were at least 1.5 inches thick. they tasted like heaven.
the chandelier i bought and ultimately returned.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

you snus, you lose





and a happy new year to you too, kate


kate gosselin's new hairstyle makes me feel as if a weight has been taken off my shoulders. wow. her hair still doesn't look quite current, but any progress from the toni & guy flagship haircut of 1998 still counts! her old hairstyle was supposedly the most copied style of 2009, but i'm pretty sure that people only copied it on halloween. unless they were of another demographic, which i don't have a funny name for. so i can't say it or it will be offensive.

Friday, January 08, 2010

mystery guest friday

i have had a very fun time with my mystery guest in town. i cannot reveal the identity, but here are a few clues.

loves jersey shore
thinks of double breasted jackets as a gift from God above
thinks of dogs as "pack mates"
believes reading comprehension is for people who don't use google reader
is more beautiful than any other person who has visited my place

can you guess who my mystery guess is?