there used to be a graying tower alone on the sea

i am going to start at the end because it was a RIOT. hopefully i am the last person to watch, but if you haven't, this is your one and only warning. achtung!

tonight, at the rose ceremony (has anyone noticed that brad loves calling it a cocktail party?) i saw three girls i've never seen before. really i think of myself as an observant person, but i am apparently not. my girls all hung in there (i realize my list is now up to six), but i don't think marissa's nice coloring and small-ish head is going to get her through. and jackie's slight underbite at times is starting to wear me down. starting to get off the ashley wagon, but i still believe in her.

i love the reaction of the blonde girl real estate broker who got booted. at first, her reaction was classy..sort of a practical indifference: "we just didn't have that chemistry". and then she pulls the "i think he was intimidated of me" and goes into this whole thing about how awesome she is and how she could start dating someone the next day and "be completely fine with it." listen to me, awesome people don't talk about how awesome they are.

and the other one with dep geled curly hair was wearing AMAZING mascara. as soon as she started crying, it was running everywhere..all over her face, all over her nicole miller number that she last wore to the junior national honor society dinner..

i am also starting to notice the difference between the ugly criers and the pretty ones. for the record, i am an ugly one, jse can testify. chantal o and emily are both pretty criers. ashley h and the mascara wunderkind are ugg. it's not qualitative, just a neutral observation.

i guess there's not much else to say about madison taking out her fangs or leaving. they would have been a weird looking couple anyway. he's irish pub, she's rave..he's sandblasted jeans and tight henley, she's studded cuff and tight black dress showing side boob..he's porcelain veneers, she's clip in canines.

the last thing i'd like to add is that i would love it if people would stop acting like "commitment", "walls" and "trust" are non-universal issues. dude, those are very big deals to everyone. if they are not, you are either very shallow or have some major problems.

and to rewind..

brad's date with ashley (nyc nanny) and seal was a bit mind numbing and boring. i'm glad we didn't see them singing very much, i would have preferred if we could have focused the camera more on the guy in the sound booth who had to endure it. i did tear up when seal sang "kiss from a rose", it could have been hormones, or feeling sorry for seal's career. she told brad about how she and her dad used to sing it at the top of their lungs and then he died two years ago..it was as if her dad was on the date with them. i wonder how daddy would feel about you french kissing an emotional invalid?

and then the date with emily. she's so cute, i am changing teams if brad does not end up with her. loved her floral romper. kk likes her so much she said "she doesn't deserve to end up with someone who has a cross tattoo on his back". LOL! glad she told him about her past. and on that note, part of me feels like ashley felt jealous of emily because she got trumped in a major way in the dramatic past category. ashley, i hope that dad+seal+aneurysm wasn't your ace in the pocket/hole/wherever you store your winning card.

has anyone else noticed that brad takes credit for coming up with all of these date ideas?

i am thinking about starting a new blog just for michelle. there's not a whole lot you can say about her that she doesn't say herself. oh man she is so awesome, i kind of want her to stick around just so i can hear what she is going to say and watch her make those weird oggling eye movements and weirdo hand gestures. someone called her ariel's evil twin on the little mermaid. HILARIOUS. top 3 michelle lines tonight:

"the card says love hurts but what really hurts is going on a date with all these women"
"i definitely think there needs to be a scene of me, like, drop kicking shawntel"
"when brad and i kiss, it's going to be sensual, soft, slippery" (gross)
runner up: "at the end, it will be just me and brad, in tahiti, practicing making babies"

cray cray.

tonight is the first time i've noticed shawntel. kk and dh have liked her this whole time. she does seem down to earth and cool. with a little work around her eyes (maybe an eyelid lift and some professional eyebrow shaping), i think she would look more sprightly. when you are a funeral director, you want to look as far as possible from a undertaker/death/possibly dying image.

i have to go to dinner now, but i think next week is going to be so good! it seems like team crazy will grow in strength and numbers.