"avocado"

v2.15 (second trimester, 15 weeks)

it is now my ultimate goal to deliver on the same day as natalie portman. i think this would build the bridge between us to be besties. i would totally get matching kabbalah ankle bracelets for her. even in june when my ankles are the same size as my knees.

i am convinced that everyone i see, whether in person or on screen, is getting skinnier.

jse told me that i am no longer a heifer but a cow. that i will never be a heifer again. from now on, i will always be a cow. i suddenly longed to be a heifer. and then i thought that life for a young female cow is not that easy, you constantly have bulls in your business trying to hump you. my final opinion is that i feel good about the transition.

the indention from the zipper and button of my jeans is still visible on my skin from yesterday. i've been using this trick that jwm taught me of using a hair rubberband to connect button to buttonhole but i was feeling skinny and went for it. i hope i didn't squish nuggie's brain.

ahg suggested a few maternity looks for me, she's volunteered to be my image consultant.

what do you get when you cross a cowboy and a ninja?

two of these..
six of these..
one of these..
and one of these (no, a betrothal)..
baby echols, coming july 2011

eskimo pie

did you know there were real eskimos walking around in new york? her sugar cube igloo was around the corner. of course, a hipster eskimo..
jk it's ruthie!

rugs not drugs

the bachelor took a violent twist this week, lots of fist pumping, black eyes, talk of giving and receiving black eyes, talk of tearing off heads, and gang signs being thrown around. lots of girls crying too, which jse would say is worse than getting a black eye. or getting castrated. all in all a pg-13 episode.

what the heck was chris harrison wearing in the morning? i think he woke up at the house of a weezer band member. what happened with wardrobing here?

after the initial announcement from michelle of her mystery black eye (to which she later explains "i probably punched myself in the middle of the night"), we find out that one of the white girls with a black girls name, chantal, gets the first one-on-one date. she was cute and casual, but i may have opted against the burn out tee that she chose. she has a serious rockin bod. she and brad had cute matching black leather jackets, and that did warm my heart considerably. they went walking on the floor of the ocean and then drank wine and made out in a cabana on the beach.

i've noticed that a lot of women start getting symbolic about their dates. for example, chantal said that risking love can be like the ocean, it opens up a whole other world. later on, michelle says that scaling down the side of the building with brad shows that she and brad can conquer anything together (given harnesses and helmet cams). let's stop trying to be deep here, folks, otherwise, brad has spent a lot of money on botox, a lobotomy and a face lift, and it may all come undone. staples and lug nuts will fly.

and speaking of brad's lobotomy, his talk of therapy is starting to become a little much. anytime someone talks about "walls" or "commitment issues" or "trust", he makes some comment like "and I KNOW" or "TRUST me, i've been there" or something really dolt like that. stop it, we all know that your therapist keeps your nuts on his bedside table. let's move on please.

the group date was a serious mess. i think the girls are starting to come unglued. the highlight of the group date was when alli asked to spend time with brad and before they even sat down, the little nyc nanny, ashley, came in and said with a crinkled face and baby voice: "i'm sorry, can i steal you away" and alli stood up for herself and told her that they just sat down, could they have another minute. she says "i'm sorry.." and then opens her arms and wants a hug from alli! like "f you, validate my rude, disingenuous behavior please! but look i'm so cute!" and if you thought she was indeed, being sincere, as soon as alli's back turned, ashley whips her hair around and puts on a coy smile for brad. sick. gross.

on the topic of alli, she is on the same path as meghan. if you are over 5'10 and/or 150, you've got to play your girly card a lot more. because let's face it, you can't wear platform heels without looking like a tranny. otherwise you will end up the lesbian friend, as we saw was the fate of meghan.

michelle's one on one date was ridiculous, of course. she pretended she was afraid of heights and even pulled out a cry. then they were in the pool drinking sparkly. awesome. the best part of their date was beforehand, when michelle was miffed that brad was trying to get cray cray jr (ashley the dentist) under control and chantal called michelle out. big time. it was so awesome, all the girls in the room i was watching with looked like that cartoon on the old spaghettio's can.

the rose ceremony was uneventful, for the most part, except for a few bad hairstyles and some odd behavior from the cast offs. meghan's exit, which joanna called a giant walking through a tiny house, was rough. sort of like shrek in heels. or mrs doubtfire in jazzercise. it was so crazy! she may be embarrassed when she watches that. the redhead picked her wedgie on the way out, that was pretty funny also.

once again, all my picks are still alive, but i am officially withdrawing my support for ashley the dentist. she doesn't have what it takes to be a womack. AND, i am officially changing my number one pick to chantal o. i think her personality matches better with brad than emily's. not that they don't match, but even with 1500 therapists, i don't think he has the emotional resources to match emily's.

moonshine

on sunday, paul invited all of us to his 34th birthday dinner at moonshine in austin. i haven't been around my family since christmas so it was really good to see everyone.

here is evan reconciling his fear of jeremy's facial hair. before this moment, evan spent a significant amount of time on the verge of crying or watching him across the table in fear and suspicion.

look at the small japanese business man who joined us for dinner! he looks like he's dressed for a night of karaoke and sake bombs. party on, wayne. dad likes to pretend that he's interested in taking pictures of other people but really, let's be honest.
here's everyone together in front of the restaurant, my dad specifically asked jse to be one step down from him so the height disparity might work itself out. cute shot of eunice and of kristine's shoes. don't know why jeremy looks so confused.

there used to be a graying tower alone on the sea

i am going to start at the end because it was a RIOT. hopefully i am the last person to watch, but if you haven't, this is your one and only warning. achtung!

tonight, at the rose ceremony (has anyone noticed that brad loves calling it a cocktail party?) i saw three girls i've never seen before. really i think of myself as an observant person, but i am apparently not. my girls all hung in there (i realize my list is now up to six), but i don't think marissa's nice coloring and small-ish head is going to get her through. and jackie's slight underbite at times is starting to wear me down. starting to get off the ashley wagon, but i still believe in her.

i love the reaction of the blonde girl real estate broker who got booted. at first, her reaction was classy..sort of a practical indifference: "we just didn't have that chemistry". and then she pulls the "i think he was intimidated of me" and goes into this whole thing about how awesome she is and how she could start dating someone the next day and "be completely fine with it." listen to me, awesome people don't talk about how awesome they are.

and the other one with dep geled curly hair was wearing AMAZING mascara. as soon as she started crying, it was running everywhere..all over her face, all over her nicole miller number that she last wore to the junior national honor society dinner..

i am also starting to notice the difference between the ugly criers and the pretty ones. for the record, i am an ugly one, jse can testify. chantal o and emily are both pretty criers. ashley h and the mascara wunderkind are ugg. it's not qualitative, just a neutral observation.

i guess there's not much else to say about madison taking out her fangs or leaving. they would have been a weird looking couple anyway. he's irish pub, she's rave..he's sandblasted jeans and tight henley, she's studded cuff and tight black dress showing side boob..he's porcelain veneers, she's clip in canines.

the last thing i'd like to add is that i would love it if people would stop acting like "commitment", "walls" and "trust" are non-universal issues. dude, those are very big deals to everyone. if they are not, you are either very shallow or have some major problems.

and to rewind..

brad's date with ashley (nyc nanny) and seal was a bit mind numbing and boring. i'm glad we didn't see them singing very much, i would have preferred if we could have focused the camera more on the guy in the sound booth who had to endure it. i did tear up when seal sang "kiss from a rose", it could have been hormones, or feeling sorry for seal's career. she told brad about how she and her dad used to sing it at the top of their lungs and then he died two years ago..it was as if her dad was on the date with them. i wonder how daddy would feel about you french kissing an emotional invalid?

and then the date with emily. she's so cute, i am changing teams if brad does not end up with her. loved her floral romper. kk likes her so much she said "she doesn't deserve to end up with someone who has a cross tattoo on his back". LOL! glad she told him about her past. and on that note, part of me feels like ashley felt jealous of emily because she got trumped in a major way in the dramatic past category. ashley, i hope that dad+seal+aneurysm wasn't your ace in the pocket/hole/wherever you store your winning card.

has anyone else noticed that brad takes credit for coming up with all of these date ideas?

i am thinking about starting a new blog just for michelle. there's not a whole lot you can say about her that she doesn't say herself. oh man she is so awesome, i kind of want her to stick around just so i can hear what she is going to say and watch her make those weird oggling eye movements and weirdo hand gestures. someone called her ariel's evil twin on the little mermaid. HILARIOUS. top 3 michelle lines tonight:

"the card says love hurts but what really hurts is going on a date with all these women"
"i definitely think there needs to be a scene of me, like, drop kicking shawntel"
"when brad and i kiss, it's going to be sensual, soft, slippery" (gross)
runner up: "at the end, it will be just me and brad, in tahiti, practicing making babies"

cray cray.

tonight is the first time i've noticed shawntel. kk and dh have liked her this whole time. she does seem down to earth and cool. with a little work around her eyes (maybe an eyelid lift and some professional eyebrow shaping), i think she would look more sprightly. when you are a funeral director, you want to look as far as possible from a undertaker/death/possibly dying image.

i have to go to dinner now, but i think next week is going to be so good! it seems like team crazy will grow in strength and numbers.

the card says love hurts, but what really hurts is going on a date with all these women

jse and i just got back from nyc.. i had a menswear appointment on monday so we went for the weekend to hang out. jeremy spent most of his time video recording bums with their pants down in the subway*, talking it up with cab drivers (jse: "oh you're from haiti, do you like wyclef jean?" cabbie: "no, i like myself.") and going to watch movies after i fell asleep at 9. that would be 8 central time. he's a good muffin, that cowboy. i started a jack kerouac novel because i thought it fitting.

highlights included:

an improv performance by an assortment of writers from conan obrien, 30rock and snl

burgers, sweet potato fries and a TOASTED MARSHMALLOW MILKSHAKE at stand w ruthie

"the modern kitchen" exhibit at the moma

dinner at colicchio and sons

hanging out and catching up with ak

unsavory moments included:

trekking to doughnut plant on a freezing, windy morning to find out they were closed

missing our flight back (we were a few minutes late, the continental employees were certified jackasses) and waiting it out for 6 hours at the airport. there was a mini spa so i asked if i could get a pedicure. she said they were booked and asked if i could come in tomorrow. isn't that weird?

a nice, laid back time..

*there was another guy standing around watching this bum and his wife was really irritated and kept trying to get him to leave. his response: "wait, i want to see, he's got a big one!" i guess this is something that guys think is cool.

oh, since we're on the topic

just fyi, if you work in customer support, have a thick indian/subcontinent accent and say your name is "tyra" or "jennifer", no one will believe you.

the empire waist strikes back

bb and kk, don't read this post before you watch!!

last night, the bachelor showed us what happens if you are catty. he may seem empty and confused, but he definitely doesn't like girl fighting or tears. jse does not like either of those things either. as a matter of fact, he told me this morning that if he was the bachelor, he would pick me but make me "work for it". don't tell him about the strategy i outlined in my previous post.

on a different note, i would like to add "jackie" on my list of likeable contestants. very nice and good natured! i don't know if she has what it takes to make it to the end, but i can see her sticking it out through a couple more rose ceremonies.

props to the weird vampire girl sticking around. i felt sorry for the girl who had to play the butch lesbian with two broken arms. and that move from the hairstylist to describe the "fireworks" that would transpire when she and brad locked lips. craycray. i think she's going to cringe when she watches that on youtube.

i am sticking with my initial choices, although chantal o is my new #2. i only want the best for brad.

i thought of another reason i would be short-lived on this show. i don't like touching or being touched by people i don't know very well. ew. kk's fear of germs might get her cut from the first episode.

favorite books of 2010

another list. books, my favorite books of last year. i took a break for a couple of months from reading this year, not to say that there would be more if i hadn't, but that fact withstanding, these were my favorites.

the supper of the lamb, capon
king lear, shakespeare
wild cow tales, green
the prophet, gibran
the western canon, bloom
thus spoke zarathustra, nietzsche
the god who is there, schaeffer

favorite albums of 2010

this is what i mostly listened to, it doesn't mean that the album was released this past year, only that it was new to me in 2010 and that it was memorable, meaningful, and i played it substantially.

the best of bill withers, bill withers
absolution, muse
in rainbows, radiohead
the eraser, thom yorke
fleet foxes, fleet foxes
debussy: piano works vol 1., debussy
summerteeth, wilco
for emma, forever ago, bon iver

singled out

i just watched the first episode of the new bachelor on hulu. brad womack is positively the best, just a simple, hot man who likes working out, leather club chairs, stainless steel and stephen covey posters. not so much the guy who has a 50s cadillac converted into a vinyl sofa. but he might have kept a dream catcher he made right before he became an eagle scout. no pretense, i can get behind that..i don't think he's a jerk for not picking either girl the first time around, i was kind of glad. one was a major ball buster and the other one was a cheerleader for a basketball team. i dunno, i dunno.

the first episode was riveting, and i have clear favorites. i should say, one clear favorite, three who i am open to.

ashley h - she's a dentist. she said something to the effect that she is an artist and that teeth are her blank palette or something. that was pretty dumb but she seems genuine. forehead is a little long and she does that hair flip thing a bit much, but a contender still. i don't like her personality as much as i do the other women on my list, but i think she'll put up a fight. the drama quotient.
chantal - if you watched the first episode, you remember her because she slapped brad and said it wasn't from her, but all the women of america. sure. she seemed to regret it later, however, and i did feel warmly toward her by the end. i wish she'd let her eyebrows grow in a bit. she is a bit proud of her family money, she says she is her dad's "right hand man" but her title is "executive assistant". in addition to running the switchboard, she is the brain behind the operation, i'm sure.
marissa - i don't remember much about her, except that she was wearing an ill-fitting pale pink formal that appeared to have spent its former life as a table cloth in the la quinta ballroom. but she seemed friendly, genuine and her sincerity was infectious.
emily - she is my number one, by far. she met her true love, ricky, at age 15 and then he died and six years later, she's ready again for love! she has a very cute accent and seems very honest and mature. i could totally tell that there were sparks between them. very pretty children.

it made me think about what strategy i would use if i was on the show. i am not generally friendly to strangers. since it takes me a while to open up, i would try to get through the first round on my looks and a short list of prepared quippy/coy remarks and then maybe i would feel comfortable to be myself. then i would talk about how my dad reminds me of emerson and how i always wanted to be with someone who has a poetic quality about his life like my dad and that i could definitely sense that he did. "oh, how self-reliance changed my life, radically." amazing, i would be so amazing. (jse doesn't read my blog, so i might try to say this to him one day, so don't rip me off)

my one complaint about the first episode is all the crying at the end. what? what is there to cry over? "i truly thought that if i gave it 110%, that i would get that in return..but i didn't.." at this point, it is not personal. there is also no such thing as 110%. but, i suppose if i spent $4k at 5-7-9 in preparation for coming on the show, i might be a smidge upset too.

all photos from abc.com

pretty bathroom

i like this bathroom..it may be because every day, the possibility of living in the country or in a make-shift, make-shift house becomes more of a reality. but i mostly like this bathroom because it could be any other room in the house, just a couple of sinks, mirrors and presumably a toilet and showering area. there is no ceremony, and its beauty (if you find this beautiful) is a natural extension of its utility. if you decided you didn't want this room to be a bathroom anymore, you could pretty easily remove a few things, and voila, a sun room or a pantry, whatever.

from desire to inspire.