last man standing

i feel a little "pressured" to write an entry on the bachelor: women tell all (one person is an albino and the other is a milk factory) even though i don't have much to say. i usually don't give into peer pressure but it's sunny outside. why not.

maybe i don't have much to say because michelle's reptilian tongue was a HUGE distraction, i wanted to ask chris harrison to give the girl some carmex. other distractions included shots of britt's hands, which i wondered if shawntel embalmed pre-show, ashley's jaundice spray tan and alli's greasy bangs.

it was strange that women who never made it past the first rose ceremony had such a strong opinion on things while shawntel, who was part of the final four, did not speak the whole two hours. jackie seemed to be the leader of the pack, her forehead and under bite seemed to become more pronounced with every verbal dagger she threw at michelle. i started imagining her dragging a club behind her. then i imagined if brad and jackie were a cro magnon caveman couple.

at some point in the show, michelle woke up from amnesia and remembered that she had a daughter. probably because she realized that she was wearing her daughter's heart print tank top.

i wish ashley would realize that things with brad didn't work out because she made no indication that she was willing to move to austin, not because she and brad spent so much time "reassuring" each other.

brad did a great job, although it's alarming to me that he has become the man on a pedestal for a lot of these women. because truthfully, botox + creatine + purple going out shirt + neutering (in that order) will get you something pretty close.

i'm not sure who brad will end up with!!! this whole time i've been positive that it's chantal, but i am still in shock that emily told r2d2 that she was in love with him and even more shocking that he reciprocated!

we're having a costume party for the last episode if you want to come, seal said he might be available.