"it's not always fun"

during the viewing of the final rose ceremony, two girls had the runs, one girl had to change clothes, and everyone fit into the category of what dgh would call "stress eating". it was a little intense, even though the final rose was no big surprise.

first i would like to say that while emily's punctuated childhood romance is very terrible and sad, it makes for an AWESOME story. instant tears, unyielding empathy, makes you want to empty your pockets, donate your organs, bank account, heart, all to her. jse clarified that "ricky tick" comes from "rikki tikki tavi", which is a childhood story i must have missed because i was busy at orchestra practice. or math camp. or day dreaming about what my white friends were doing.

chantal officially scraped the bottom of the style bucket this week - a backless top to meet parents? layering a crumpled grayish white camisole underneath does not make you modest. it is like trying to enter go to church in a string bikini (in her case, crocheted) with a cardigan on top. man, i would have preferred the green burnout tee to that.

however i did love the dress chantal wore to the final rose ceremony. wouldn't you give a rose to her?

by their final date, channy channy sniffed out that brad has never reciprocated any of her feelings toward him. so to be memorable, she picks out an even shorter pair of shorts, duct tapes her boobs together and swims with sharks to prove her love. did you know that you can buy map colors in africa? you can. and you can find tracing paper and maps too. and if you ever want a boy to fall in love with you, draw him a map of every location where you've kissed. and if he doesn't tell you he loves you, he will at least give you an awesome nickname.

on brad and emily's date, the two things that she seemed most concerned about were 1. whether brad was ready to be a father and 2. fighting to keep the part in her hair perfect amid the tornado that was apparently breeching cape town. that conversation was rough. at one point, i thought she would admit that no one can ever quite be prepared for what it will be like to parent, but she didn't and instead brought up being sick at 3am or going to the emergency room. nice. emily was definitely poking the bear.

the rose ceremony was sad if your name was chantal. she kept glancing at the rose which made me wonder if she was going to grab it and make a run for it. she didn't. she and her feathers and taped boobs got back into the "coming to america" limo with poise. good moment. and the fairy tale engagement between brad and emily was pretty perfect and romantic...

...and then the after show was a complete disaster. worse than when jessica simpson became a size 8.

i have championed brad's cause (therapy) all season. however, the way he handled chantal at the show left a lot to be desired. i think being verbally attacked by emily every tuesday morning for the last two months has beaten the guy down. even though brad knew that emily was the one he wanted, i think pursuing someone totally opposite of her gave him the confirmation and contrast he needed, especially over an abbreviated length of time. and more importantly, he really did have a connection and comfort with chantal that he didn't (and from the looks of it, still doesn't) have with emily. it seemed like chantal was just looking for confirmation that her intuition was right, that they did share something deep and important, and brad couldn't admit that. instead he says "come here", holds her and kisses her on the forehead. good move, brad.

i did love when brad brought up that chantal had a new man in her life. her tears immediately evaporated and she proclaims that after 2.6 days, he has taught her that she can love again. that he is everything she has been looking for. that he shows his commitment by eating as many burritos as she does.

the interview with brad and emily was rough. emily had what i like to call "empty eyes", like tom cruise. they smile and say nice stuff but their eyes are dead. emily said she loved brad and that she was hopeful about their future, but i felt as if you could finish all of her sentences with "..but he's not ricky." sad.

they're trying to have a normal relationship with very abnormal circumstances. all of the turmoil is understandable. maybe, hopefully, they'll find a happy place. i'd like to see their toothy, blonde children.