9-9-9

why is a dangerous question to ask when it comes to babies. partly because they can’t give you an answer but mostly because there is a definitive answer to all of the frustrating, inconsistent things that they do but many times only, and literally, God will ever know.

i always think that if i could only figure out the why to whatever is making her cry, waking her up in the middle of a nap, making her refuse to eat, i could fix it…but trying to answer why is a rabbit hole, and i’m beginning to think the question, itself, is far less important than i wish it were. sometimes i think that when i constantly ask “why”, it is an indication of my unwillingness to accept reality and an attempt to conquer and change my circumstances.

i’ve noticed that jse doesn’t ask why nearly as much as i do, in regard to our sweet child. and consequently, he is frustrated much less (he is also, constitutionally, more relaxed about her than me). his reaction, when e.m. is out of sorts, seems to be closer to “what now”, which i think is a great perspective and one which i will try and adopt.

thanks for the cute onesie, mikey..!!