if only

right now, the only way i can get a deep breath is if i yawn. it's become a major impediment today because i can't breathe while i'm explaining things to customers. and then i yawn and it sends the wrong message.

also i realized that in the hierarchy of people who get special treatment, elderly men still outweigh pregnant women. today i was going into a restaurant to get my lunch and an 80 something year old man and i stood at the door, he was on the inside, i was on the outside, and it was a test of will. i lost and opened the door for him. he didn't say thank you, he may have even tried to trip me.

yesterday the only thing i wanted in the world was to have a summer like baby in dirty dancing. high waisted bermuda denim shorts, eyelet tops, printed cardigans, keds without socks. volleyball on the lawn, talent show, the whole thing.


and then i realized, oh yes, i am shaped more like an eggplant than a human right now and jeremy does not like jazz shoes or feathered hair. now that that episode is behind me, i have become more realistic and just want a summer free of rashes and cankles.