365 days of summer

i believe the wearing and enjoyment of flip flops should be (highly) self-regulated. i can't believe i'm writing about this in the middle of january, but in the last 24 hours, i've been offended four times by folks who obviously do not have decency or modesty. i absolutely disagree that you can wear "whatever" with flip flops or that flip flops are so "easy" and universal. i really think maybe 1-3% of the population can wear them successfully, and yet that percentage is actually of people who do not wear them. oh there are so many problems. so sad.

anyway, here is my personal checklist (enforced on myself, measured and judged on others) as to the permissibility of wearing said sandals.

yes
there is a nice arch to the foot, neither high or low.
the width and thickness of the foot is medium.
the wearer has good but not great posture
the outfit is not athletic or dressy or lounge-y casual, preferably with a surfer or outdoors slant
season is summer
you are under 35
good proportion of ankle to calf girth
you are white or hispanic (other races are case by case)
have nicely proportioned nailbeds

no
an ashen hue on the bottom of your feet
overpronate
not summer time
you use hairspray or axe body spray
you have the feeling "this outfit would be better with xxx shoes, but..."
answered no to any of the "yes" reasons
there is more than 1/2 cm of excess sandal or the heel lines up or goes over the flip flop itself
corns and/or calluses
arachnid like toe/foot hair
weird feet (anything about your feet that would attract attention)
you look like you might be white collar. or blue collar (indicated by things like hair part, tailored clothing, jewelry).

in addition, new and pristine flip flops look ridiculous and contrived, old and nasty flip flops make you look poor and slovenly.

it's a fine line, people. you can cross it, but preferably not in front of me. if in front of me, i am probably judging you.