yesterday, i touched a gun for the first time (two, actually). and i had big plans to shoot one until my conscience stirred. my principles do not conflict with hunting guns (as in, not the kind that hunt humans) but handguns are a different story. i have my sights set on participating in skeet/trap shooting before the fall is up. so if you notice the following changes in me over the next several weeks or months, you will have an indication of my progress.
1. a glassed over, copacetic facial expression when the song "to arms in dixie" plays
2. consistent and continual use of the word "varmit"
3. repeated style references to "sherman's march to the sea-chic"
4. an obsession with playing h.o.t. fair games in hopes of winning a 8x10 framed picture of a confederate flag draped over a trans-am
cookie wishes he had one of these, scary:
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