when it's over, i'll let you know

i think if you ever are tired of life and want to go insane, the fastest way to go is by deciding that you want new flatware.

if you find a shape you like, it's only offered in the brushed nickel or mirror finish, whichever one you didn't want. if you like the way a spoon is shaped, the handle is contrived. if the handle is nice, the neck of the fork is too narrow. if you want something more contemporary, the spoons all look like they are anorexic. the knives that need that bevel around the handle don't, the ones that don't, do. why do the prongs on the forks have to be THAT long? is it necessary for the spoon to be THAT big? maybe that's why we're all overweight. our silverware transports too much food.

once, i saw a handle that i loved and did not allow my eyes to make their way up; too scared.

i can't even stand it. poor me, dawg, poor me.