anything less than the best is a felony

a play date with oscar this weekend. it doesn't really get much cuter than this, i feel like cursing because i can't stand how sweet they are...

muffin top

my best part time employee ever, love you, sweet bella buns...

white student association

in college, i belonged to the korean student association for about 3 semesters. i listened to a bit of korean pop music, watched korean dramas, ate a lot of korean food, hung out with a couple of korean guys, but never quite got into the armani exchange, colored contacts, azn sororities, honda accords and gucci. i always loved my white friends. one day, my very white emo friend, jon carroll, asked me, "if you're in the korean student association, why can't i be in the white student association?" to which i replied, "you can, it's called fiji."

so anyway, amy sent this to me today, it's quite funny, pokes fun at the white man, just a little. take special note of #11. hilarious, just as i have always suspected.

List of Stuff White People Like

death of an insurance salesman

this saturday, my shop computer crashed. inconvenient/a perturbance/trauma does not even cover the spectrum of my sentiment toward the whole deal. marcy suggested that i file a claim for business interruption and here's a conversation that transpired between us, over text, after i filed the claim:

marcy: "so what are you supposed to do now?"
me: "i dunno, she's gonna submit the claim and someone's going to call me."
marcy: "gotcha. good luck! sorry it's a mess. maybe reggie will be your claims adjustor" (reggie is an adjuster for natural catastrophic events)
me: "i wish. but it's not hail damage. that's on my thighs...what if reggie came over and asked to see the hail damage and i just turned around?"

groin pains

i am now starting to see what sort of audience i'm dealing with. you guys don't ever comment on blogs that have any hint of sentiment, insight or poignancy. . .anything with substance, basically. the three posts that have generated the most comments have been about the partitioning of bradley's body after he dies, my chicken mcnuggets and extreme scare tactics to keep bradley out of the neighbor's yard. jeez. stop treating me like michael crichton!!

made with white meat

i am eating a chicken mcnugget happy meal. these are my thoughts. arby's is the poor man's mcdonald's. jack in the box is the thinking man's mcdonald's. i don't know where this leaves burger king. how can this mcnugget taste exactly the way it did when i was five, living in maryland?

lesel, i am so proud of you for running 8 miles today. you are right, you have had "several tears" over this journey to the bear a thon. . .

DEO is for your B O

my proverbial jaw always drops when i find out that i've been misspelling a word for a very long time. like like when i found out that mcdonald's wasn't macdonald's. today, i've realized the difference between "stationary" and "stationery". the first meaning static, the latter meaning writing material. i feel so embarrassed, if i've ever written a letter to you or emailed you or even said this word to you (i am in a constant mode of spelling things in my head), i'm so sorry for not being the bastion and guardian of the english language like i strive to be. what a bad day.