purina dog ciao

bradley and i spent about 10 minutes tonight hunting a roach. pest control is his one and only pragmatic utility. for as large an animal as he is, he's not very useful...he is never yoked to a plow or suited in armor to have to fight off enemies. he doesn't hunt for his own food and he certainly can't sire a litter. he can't iron, grocery shop, advise me or even pick up a crummy pencil when i drop it (i have tried)...but for as long as i have had him, there is still something in the back of my mind that tells me that because he weighs as much as a human (and, is consequently as strong and able bodied, minus the opposable thumbs) that he should be as useful as one. like he should be more of a canine roommate than a canine companion. he's afraid of cats, slow moving ceiling fans, elongated shadows, 6 pound chihuahuas, fly swatters, pecan trees...but he's not afraid of roaches. and maybe it is because he really is literally afraid of everything else that i beam with pride when i see him go after an insect that is roughly 1/2500th his size. his ears perk up, his tail wags high and he sort of has this conquering and bad ass look on his face, like he's imagining the roach to be a wild boar instead.

he normally follows them around, sniffs them with great intensity and then steps on them. but tonight, he didn't get the roach. i think that adventure wore him out, so, he's taking his 20 hour power nap. but he'll be back and he'll have another 10 minute jolt of greatness. you watch.

he used to not be afraid of squirrels but then, one day, more than one showed up and his fragile self esteem shattered and he ran inside. one other time, he picked up an armadillo in cameron park and ran around with it in his mouth for a while. and then he didn't know what to do with it or where to go so he dropped it.