anyway, it's not like me to have an enemy. generally, when i don't care about or care for someone, i have very little trouble being rude or just forgetting about her (boo yah!) existence entirely.
but i can't do either of those things with her. maybe it's like death compared to suffering. i think i would rather die than suffer for a really long time. and maybe that's why she's my arch nemesis. maybe that's what distinguishes an enemy from an arch enemy - recurrence, persistence, reappearance in your life like some sort of virus you can't shake. like a staph infection. or jock itch.
ergo, i will now refer to her as TIMS (thorn in my side).
so everytime i see her, i'm really nice. i use my first string varsity jokes on her. and i smile and say things quietly out of the side of my mouth to make her think that she's on the inside track. and i tell her we should have lunch sometime. and inside, i'm giving her the finger and picturing her on one of those medieval stretching machines. and then i call marcy and say mean things. let's face it, gossip in controlled doses is BRILLIANT.
on a brighter note, here is a picture from the celebrity-laden wedding i attended this past weekend. it's really just a picture of my hunky BF, chuckles, at amy's ice cream in austin. this morning, he was at my house on the computer and when i left, i asked him if he would be looking at any porn. "no, but i am definitely going to be looking at some corn."
3 comments:
Sweet Jesus, thank you for saying you call me to talk about TIMS...I was starting to think it was me. Though, I am pretty sure I am not expossed to you varsity grade jokes. Wink, wink.
all the pseudo experts say that what we hate in others is a projection of what we hate in ourselves, this phenomenon is the cause of the recurrence, persistence, and ever non-changing nature of our arch enemies. all the experts know that batman could not exist without the joker, this persistent existence of TIMS is a testimony to the resilience of your inner hero, her resistance to annihilation by the vanquishing of the arch nemesis.
So if I were to say that I hated a certain fat person and/or vegan, would that mean I hate the fat person in me & the one who resides in me who doesn't like meat or animal products?
Post a Comment