where oh where

i feel weird that i take my kid places without socks or shoes. but i feel equally weird about her wearing them. it seems appropriate that she have something on her feet, but then she doesn't do anything with her feet except for kick me when she's tired of eating, and you don't need socks or shoes for that.

here she is at her very first party this weekend, she almost showed up wearing the same dress as another baby. she felt relieved that she followed her instincts.
she kind of looks like an aboriginal baby from the knees down.
(instagram courtesy l swartz)

heir today, gone tomorrow

i've been using this.

but it's been turning out like this.

so then i added this...
this...
this...
and this...
and now i look like this.
back to the drawing board.

fortunate cookie

: (
: )

connect the dots

esther margaret is a long skinny kid. and because of this (as luck would have it) everything is ill fitting. if you know me even a little bit, you know that i don't care very much about prints or embellishment or even draping (maybe i care about color every great once in a while). i only care about fit (and fabric, which i will confidently lump into fit). every time i put a dress, shirt or onesie on our little dear one, i expect it to fit well - great. but it doesn't, and actually every time i put something on her she's worn before, it fits worse than the previous time. i feel sorry for her but her adorable face makes up for any wardrobe mayhem.

here is a rundown of the major problem areas:
1. because she is so long, the first priority is putting her in a onesie that is long enough. however, she is longer than an 8-14 pound infant, according to gerber, and so the fabric pulls down when the neck line should be more linear, along the collar bone.

2. the point of the lap shoulder (in my opinion) is to assist in fitting an infants head through, which is proportionately huge compared to the rest of their bodies. since i guess she is as long but not as broad as a 8-14 pounder, the shoulders are baggy.

3. the fit of sleeves should be intentional; fitted, standard or blouson. these sleeves fall into a gray area between standard and blouson, which makes her look a little sloppy.

4. striations in the fabric, she's too skinny to fill out the body cavity.

5. refer to #1 but upside down. add fabric pulling at snaps.

6. leg holes are too low, causing bunching. if she were an adult, she would complain that it made her legs look short.

ps. maybe i'm asking too much of a 2.50$ onesie.
pps. this reminds me of a rumor i used to hear about sororities having secret meetings where they took pictures of pledges and drew circles around their "problem areas". fess up!

at the produce aisle

to boot, two boots

a few things have changed since em was born, aside from the regular things like not sleeping, having giant veiny boobs, living on a 3 hour schedule and feeling the pressure of caring for a tiny human.

1 i cut up all of my food before consuming. i eat dinner pretty close to her mealtime so i end up trying to eat as quickly and efficiently as possible. i feel a little embarrassed but by that time i am also likely exposing a boob or attached to a pump. what's bite sized food?

2 i sometimes have to carry her with one arm and end up holding her like women do in third world countries, sort of slung on the hip but supporting her head at the same time. it's very national geographic but not in a good way.

3 i have always loved maria, who cleans our house, but love her with elevendy billion times the passion and attachment than i did before. i try to keep her here longer with snacks and baby tricks (weird faces em makes when she is gassy).

4 i have become the girl who wears workout clothes but does not work out. this has become a necessity as i don't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes yet, but it's still embarrassing. i don't remember people asking me if i had just worked out before when wearing workout gear. maybe the difference is that now i look like i need to work out so people ask in hopeful optimism. i have never been more jealous of buttons and zippers.

you know it ain't fiction

sad, em has already grown out of her first set of clothes.
funny, evan's hair after being in a hot car.

bird on a wire

esther margaret gives me the finger all the time. usually it is when she is nursing (which explains the lack of photographic evidence, but you can verify with jse). it is funny except:

1. at 3am, when she is crying and wants to eat but can't calm down enough to focus, and then she gives me the finger, it makes me a little suspicious.

2. at 1030 when i've been trying to keep her awake long enough to get a full tummy, and i finally give up and see her middle finger creep up, i imagine her saying "esther margaret 1, mom, 0, take that bro."

lucky for both of us, she is extremely cute, even when she is giving me the tiny little bird.

au revoir les enfants

today em put a special dress on to see some very special people.

the flemings are moving to oklahoma tomorrow. it's been coming for a while but their house is now empty so i am forced to believe it's actually happening.

looks like em is about as photogenic as her mother.
good dear friends are one of the only things in life worth having.

swartz #4

welcome to life on the outside, lela june...!
made me feel like my 3 week old kid was 3 years old...