mike and the mechanical engineers

is the jeep wrangler the young man's mazda miata?

bad bad leroy brown

i'm having two main issues today: the domestication of animals, specifically, the dog and the cow and secondly, being cornered and then labeled as a "picky" person when it comes to restaurant choice.

to address the first, starting with some background: i like midnight snacks. i eat them even if i am not hungry. mostly because i like being secretive but also because i think midnight snacking is a lost art. several nights ago, i went to the kitchen and decided on marcy's pistachios. bradley knows when the middle of the night grazing occurs, as manifested by his licking of the chops as soon as i sit up. so i return and am laying in bed, curled around the four by six by three inch tupperware container that housed said nuts...and bradley is staring at me, intently. at first, i dismiss him thinking that dogs, in their history, have probably never eaten nuts, so he wouldn't even entertain the thought. but then i thought it would be an interesting experiment. i doled one out, and he sniffed around it, lifted his lips quiveringly to expose his two front teeth, and gingerly took it from me. after some rolling, licking and sniffing, he ate it. my dog ate a pistachio nut! this is alarming on both micro and macro levels. first, bradley is too slow to catch anything so he would probably starve and die in the wild looking for his stainless steel bowl filled with purina one. and in the bigger picture, we, as humans have altered the evolutionary cycle by allowing a dulled species to survive, simply based on our desire to be loved and to have companionship. domesticated dogs have only survived because humans have kept them alive. it's like a weird, parasitic relationship. same goes for cows except we proliferate their species so we can eat them. how morbid!

second issue, also starting with background: there are three categories of friends for me. the first is the (1) epidermal friend (not to be confused with an acquaintance, i don't make it a habit of engaging with people i do not intend to pursue friendship with), (2) the visceral friend and the deepest tier, (3) my soul mates (sorry that this does not fall in line with the anatomy analogy, but i do think that the deepest parts of us are triggered by something outside of the body). the people who know my guts (some in (2) and all of (3)) know that i am not a picky eater whatsoever but that i do expect for my food-related impulses to be met immediately, specifically and completely. this is extreme, i know. but that is only about 15% of the time. so, for 85% of the time, i have no preference as to where or what i eat.

unfortunately, when a (1) or some (2) friends experience the 15%, i am assumed to be like this 100 percent of the time. in addition, the social epidemic these days is to have no opinion on restaurant choice. i don't want to be a traitor to my generation but cannot acquiesce to this disease. so i am usually the one to have an opinion and because i do, it is assumed that i ALWAYS have an opinion.

mistake not, i actually don't care where or what i eat. i've eaten fried rice out of a plastic bag before.

down by the river

i think about death a lot. i like it because it makes things very clear. i also love this song by neil young. i didn't discover it on my own but it's still very meaningful to me.

down by the river
by: neil young

Be on my side,
I'll be on your side,
baby
There is no reason
for you to hide
It's so hard for me
staying here all alone
When you could be
taking me for a ride.

Yeah, she could drag me
over the rainbow,
send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.

You take my hand,
I'll take your hand
Together we may get away
This much madness
is too much sorrow
It's impossible
to make it today.

Yeah, she could drag me
over the rainbow,
send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.

Be on my side,
I'll be on your side,
baby
There is no reason
for you to hide
It's so hard for me
staying here all alone
When you could be
taking me for a ride.

Yeah, she could drag me
over the rainbow,
send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.

rocks for jocks

i don't like the word "finger".

f as in frank

the vast majority of people bathe for the singular purpose of cleanliness. it seems straightforward enough. but i think that allegiance without critical thought is stupid. and anyway, i think that cleanliness is overrated.

so i always try to see every shower as an opportunity to integrate otherwise mundane maintenance tasks. shaving is generally pretty boring but there's something about shaving in the context of the warm continuous stream of water and the intimacy of a small, enclosed space that adds interest and panache.

yesterday i bought new goggles and tested them out by wearing them for the entirety of my shower. by the end, i decided to return them. the day before i clipped my fingernails.

here are my top 5 favorite extra curricular shower/bath activities:

1. getting stains out of clothing or washing delicates
2. brushing my teeth
3. email (yes, like reverend run. yes, i got this idea from him)
4. scrubbing the bath tub
5. luring my dog into the bathroom with the promise of biscuits and then splashing water on him.

sometimes i get carried away and will get out of the tub without accomplishing the requisite shampoo/conditioning and soaping rituals. i am generally very proud of myself when this happens.

i don't generally wear deodorant. but i do keep a stick of tom's of maine in the cabinet because it smells like fruit loops. sometimes you need that.

when i count to three...attack!

what is it about diamonds that seem to veer/divert the will of God?

an observation, living where i do, going to church where i do: single missionaries tend to overwhelmingly be women. sometimes it weirds me out because i wonder if they become missionaries because they don't want to be teachers or something. isn't that harsh? well, that's what i think sometimes. also, when some of these women start to date, God's will changes. they don't feel "called" to go anymore. i guess maybe God is calling them to live in hewitt in a david weekly home or something. . .it pisses me off because i think that being a missionary is a really big deal, not just a default or back up plan for an evangelical, charasmatic christian.

this sort of leads to a current snapshot of my faith. a person's belief in christ is ultimately completed by faith. yesterday, i felt sad because i wasn't sure if my own faith was an extension of being completely convinced, inspired and sold out for the cause of christ or whether it was because, to date, i haven't known anything more compelling. it reminds me of this churchill quote on government: "it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried." i don't want my faith to be my best option. i've just thought, lately, that God is so seamless and so cohesive and that i am not. that there is no way that i even have a small understanding of Him and that it's truly truly arrogant to think that i've got a better idea of eternity, of heaven, of the creator of the universe, just because of my religious affiliation.

enough of that crazy talk. in the last month, i have developed a very spectacular obsession with peanut butter and english muffins (exclusively and inclusively). i have commenced triathlon training which has left me wanting to conserve my energy outside of my training schedule. . .this is what it might look like: riding my bike for 45 miles (roughly 3 hours) and spending the next two hours in a down comforter cocoon. . .OR swimming a mile in the morning, taking a spin class in the afternoon and then fixing some jasmine tea, closing the door and spending enough time in the bath tub with epsom salts to go through 3 water changes. it's sort of weird, i feel very diametric. and i like it! having to shower twice a day? me no likey.

i have a very fantastic story about the bath tub. i would tell it right now but i am overwhelmed at how my paragraph transitions have been so smooth in this blog. i need a moment.

this post is dedicated to jg, jg, ss and mf. thanks for reading. . .sorry to be away.

a haiku for you

a poem from my friend, ray.

haiku
little moths stagger quivering out of the hedge;
they will die tonight and will never know
that it wasn't spring.
-rainer maria rilke